New Places and New Lessons

I have been in New York for a month, and time continues to fly for me here. Today was my first day at the Community Service Program, and I can already tell it is going to be quite a learning experience. I will be working with people who need help staying in their apartment, finding or keeping public assistance, an emergency supply of food for their family, or just someone who cares about them. From what I can tell, these people are not at the point of being referred to the employment program office yet because they have more immediate needs that must be met first. As time goes on and I have more experiences that allow me to make judgments in that way I will be sure to pass them along. Today I had a great conversation with the director of the program where we bounced ideas, offered advice, and just simply talked candidly to get to know each other. She has a great heart to serve those in need, and I know I will learn a ton from her, and the rest of the staff, during the next five weeks.

I am happy with how things went during my four weeks at the Employment Services office, and I am excited to continue to spend time with the 9th grade group over the next five weeks. These kids are so great to work with, and the two leaders that I am helping do a fantastic job with them. They are so excited to have me share information with the group to get their wheels turning, and it is so fun for me to get involved in their activities. The kids are getting a lot of information and experiences that most 15-year-olds don't, according to my recollection. So far we have discussed the upcoming election and its implications, poverty, both domestic and global, and the concept of building something from the ground up that represents something they are passionate about. A couple of them have even approached me after I shared my story with them to inquire about how they could do something along the same lines. They tell me that there is something they really care about and that they really think they would like to do something about it the way that I am trying to do something about poverty. Just hearing that a young person in 9th grade has that kind of selfless vision gives me hope for future generations, and to hear it from more than one person in a small group is even more encouraging.

Most likely I will still spend Friday mornings with the adult employment participants, as well, which is really nice. Friday mornings are when we bring it all together with the group and get them ready to take their resume to an interview and nail it. They all get so excited and nervous for interviews, and we really just have to tell them to take a deep breath and believe in themselves because they each have the tools they need to be successful, if they would just use them. I will try to keep tabs on who finds a job throughout the rest of my time here. Having a total number for the ten weeks I was here will be really interesting to see, and fun to share with you all.

There are a few photos from my weekend in New England. My friend, Adam, and I went to see the area and visit our friend, Steve. We spent most of our time in Boston, with one night in Attleboro, Massachussetts and one afternoon in Providence, Rhode Island. Of all the places we visited this weekend, I have to say that Boston was great and probably overall my favorite, but Providence was a very pleasant surprise. I didn't expect it to be horrible, but the feel of the city was so comfortable and friendly, and the scenery was beautiful. The whole time I felt like we were walking around the set of a TV show. It has the feel of a city that I want to settle down in and raise my family. I know those last two descriptions are somewhat vague and subjective, but what I'm trying to say is that it was really nice. Another place I really liked was Cambridge, just outside of Boston proper, and the home of Harvard University. Enjoy the photos and I will be posting again next week with more feedback from my undoubtedly new experiences this week.

Fall is in the Air

Well, it is officially Fall here, and it is great to have the crisp air without the clouds and rain. Honestly there is not much to report on the past week at the office. Things slowed down during the lull between adult employment groups, but we did have a new group of twelve people start this morning, so I am looking forward to more action and interaction this week.

This week is my last at the Adult Employment office before heading to the Community Service office next week to work with mostly families and individuals in need of food, clothing, shelter, legal services, and guidance through the federal assistance system. From what I hear this office is chaotic and I should be able to learn a lot about how the organization addresses the more immediate needs of individuals in the community. It will be really interesting to learn more about what is available to people in the way of food stamps, unemployment, rent assistance, etc. Helping people obtain basic necessities in food and clothing will be rewarding and, I anticipate, emotionally challenging. I look forward to having some interesting interactions and experiences to share with you all.

I have started to work with the 9th grade Youth Education group at the office, and I am so thankful for the opportunity. These kids are going to teach me so much! On Thursday I shared my story with them in an effort to help them understand why I was there and inspire them to think big and creatively with their service learning project for the year based on poverty. They had a ton of questions for me, and they all seemed shocked that some people don't have access to water and basic sanitation. The idea that I will be living in places without McDonald's blew their minds, and trying to comprehend that a family can survive on $2 per day was near impossible. They shared their definitions of poverty, and told the leaders and I what they thought caused impoverished conditions for most people. I think getting these kids involved in creating and carrying out a project to help others at their age is going to profoundly affect some of them. If nothing else, they will have an awareness of the world and of the hardships that others face that not a lot of 15-year-olds have, and one that I certainly did not at their age. I am excited to share what we learn together and what kind of project they put together.

I do want to share an experience I had yesterday afternoon downstairs outside of a deli with a homeless man. I was walking back from a peaceful afternoon of sitting on a bench in the sun, where I journalled and caught up with friends and family on the phone, when I walked past a man asking for change. I initially told him that I was sorry I couldn't help him and continued walking towards my apartment. At the end of the block, my heart finally convinced me to turn around and take the man inside the deli he was standing in front of to get some lunch. I went back and told him that I didn't have any cash, but I would love to buy him lunch inside if he was interested. Past experiences of offering this to people in need have told me that they aren't always necessarily interested in food, even when they are telling everyone that is what they need money for. But this guy was very interested in a meal, and very grateful for the offer. He came inside with me and went straight to the self-serve coffee machine and then met me at the prepacked deli cooler. I pointed out a sandwich that looked tasty, but he insisted, despite my assurance that the price of the sandwich was not too much, that he would rather have a bowl of cantelope that was a few dollars cheaper. As I said, he was very thankful, and I also noticed how well spoken he was. I asked him to tell me a little bit about himself, and I was so humbled and saddened by his story. Throughout a 45-minute chat, I learned that he was previously married with two daughters in Ohio, where he worked as an EMT, but after a messy divorce he moved to New York to get away from the situation. He hasn't been able to find a job due to a misdemeanor felony on his record from Ohio, and has been sleeping in shelters and in the basement of an apartment building. He shared with me that he hasn't had contact with his daughters in years and is emotionally dead inside, which makes him feel as if he is unable to love or be loved ever again. He is humiliated by asking for money on the street, but unwilling to resort to the alternative of stealing from others and hurting them in the process. I invited him to come to the office I have been working at to get assistance with a job search, but I didn't see him there this morning. I desperately want him to come in and find the help he needs and deserves. It is stories like this one that break my heart and make me realize that I could just as easily end up in his situation if the circumstances were wrong.

That is all I have for the last week. I am thankful that even when things slow down at the office, I still have experiences like that last one that impact me and ultimately lead to a better understanding of what I came here to understand. Cheers everyone, have a great week, and please continue to think of small ways you can positively impact those around you who are in need. I put another photo from the city showing the bridge system connecting Manhattan with the rest of the city. Also, to the left is the new love of my life, my niece, Lilli Nicole. She was born on October 10th and is doing very well. I can't wait to meet her next month when I go home for a weekend.

It's a Big, Lonely City

After a slow, rolling start to this journey, things have really picked up and time is starting to fly. While a lot has continued to happen at the office I am working in, I would like to spend the majority of this post reflecting on a personal experience I had outside of the office last weekend. On Friday afternoon I set out on a somewhat impromptu 48-hour homeless simulation that I had decided I wanted to do in order to gain a better understanding of what it means to live without all of the luxuries that I have always taken for granted. I had only a few rules for myself during this experience: One, no online research allowed, all information and insight I got must come from other people or resources available to me out on the street. Two, all I could take with me was my identification, metro card, and keys to get back into my apartment after it was over. Three, no breaking laws that could get me arrested, I wanted to make sure I came home in one piece and without wasting a bunch of money just to get myself out of jail for doing something stupid.

With all of that understood, let's now get to talking about my experiences. Obviously I survived and made it home, as I am sitting here writing this in the comforts of my apartment. I had intentions of staying one night on the street and one night in a shelter. The one night on the streets was more than I could handle, and so I regret to inform you that the 48-hour simulation turned into a 24-hour one. No one, not even police officers, could tell me where a shelter was, and I was not having any luck just running into one on my own, so I threw the towel in and admitted defeat after enduring just half of my planned simulation. Although I didn't make it to my goal, the experience was nonetheless extremely eye-opening and valuable for me as an individual and for ERACE Poverty, as we will be able to use this experience in decisions for future domestic poverty partnerships.

The two most impacting feelings from this experience were the immense loneliness and the incredible humility that were constant throughout. First, I was not expecting to feel loneliness like I felt from the outset, loneliness like I have never experienced or even imagined before in my life. Without my friends around, without my phone to contact any of them, without even my ipod to act as a friend, and with very intense feelings and thoughts on my heart and mind, I found myself overwhelmed at many points throughout the night and day. Luckily, I had taken a pad of paper and a pen along with me to record my thoughts, and so they became my best friends. The irony of being in the middle of one of the world's largest and most densely populated cities, and yet feeling completely isolated like I may as well have been in an isolation chamber at Alcatraz, was both frustrating and hilarious to me. And so I set out to make friends with some homeless folks, which was again frustrating. A surprising amount of them did not speak English, and the others who did seemed simply incapable of carrying on a sensical conversation. Please understand that I am not talking down about them. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent and well adjusted young man, but if I were in their situation for much longer than 24 hours without the mental advantage of knowing it was temporary, I too would quickly lose the awareness of appropriate social interaction.

Typically when we talk about humility in this country, we are speaking of not "tooting your own horn" or giving credit to others instead of yourself for accomplishments. While that is important, it pales in comparison to the humility that I experienced when asking strangers to help me meet my basic human needs by giving me any spare change or buying me something to eat. Once again, I am not feeling sorry for myself or in any way equating my situation to someone who really must rely on this daily, I am simply commenting on my reactions to my experiences. There is something that happens inside of you when you break down enough to get to this point, and something even more profound when you are looked at as if you do not even deserve a verbal response, but rather a disgusted look and a shoulder turned on you. The first time this happened to me, I actually felt as if someone had thrown a rock at my chest. I could physically feel my heart drop; it was the most horrible feeling I think I have ever experienced. My point is this: please do not ever do this to anyone! No one deserves to feel that way, no matter what there situation is and how they got there. How someone can maintain any ounce of self worth when they encounter this daily I do not know, but they are a much stronger person than I. So please at least offer a smile and polite verbal response to anyone who approaches you from now on. My suspicion and approach before last weekend was that a lot of people don't care as much about getting money from you as they long just to be treated like a human being, and that was confirmed through my experiences. If you do have some spare change or any other tangible items to offer them, please do.

Well I won't go into any more detail about my experiences, other than to tell you that I survived the night by sleeping on a couple different benches and on the subway, and by walking aimlessly for hours just waiting for the sun to rise and life to return to the streets. I would encourage everyone to do something similar. You will not enjoy a second of it, but the perspective you will gain will be life changing, I hope, and you will certainly be better off for the experience. I have included a couple pictures of the city that I have taken in the past week. Enjoy, and please leave me any feedback you may have to this posting. Next week I will have more updates from work at the office. Have a great week everyone!

Everyday is a Learning Experience

So I have been here for over a week now, and it is finally hitting me that I'm not on vacation. Establishing somewhat of a routine at the office of CFL (Center for Family Life) has been good for me to get settled, but now I am experiencing what I do every time I move to a new location. I am so enamored with all the new external stuff I am experiencing that it goes unnoticed by me that my emotions and lifestyle are on a figurative roller coaster. All this to say that the ups and downs are much more dramatic and noticeable until I really get settled in a have somewhat of a stable lifestyle. The thing that is both fortunate and unfortunate about my current situation is that I have intentionally set up the next 8-12 months of my life to be exactly the opposite of what I just mentioned. It is fortunate because it will give me the opportunity to practice living an unsettled life and become comfortable in almost any situation, and unfortunate because, well simply because it will be difficult.

With all that said, this has already been an amazing and very enlightening experience, and it has only been about 10 days. Everyday I go to the office and work with the clients and staff, I am so deeply humbled by how fortunate I have been throughout my life. From birth, I have been surrounded by loving people who care enough about me to make sure I take advantage of everything that is available to me. Everyone that I have been working with the past week either hasn't had, and doesn't have the same resources, or simply does not know about them or how to use them. It is really sad because they are all very talented, wonderful people. The other thing that has really struck me is that because of their situations, a lot of them really have no self-confidence and no goals. They have been beaten down and indirectly told time after time that they aren't worth it and that they have nothing special to offer. Their stories are heartbreaking, and yet they keep going the best they know how, and they now are taking a huge step by letting go of their pride and coming to a place that really can help them discover what's inside of them and use it to create the life they have dreamed of, but never really considered realistic.

As far as what I have been doing specifically at the office, it has been a very involved and varied process to this point. Since last Monday, I have been going step by step through the process that CFL has in place to create long term and sustainable change in these people's lives, specifically in their professional lives. Monday was an introduction to the program with some basic testing of math and language skills, followed by skills assessment and identification on Tuesday. Wednesday was all about goal setting, obstacle identification, and finding realistic solutions to each obstacle. Thursday and Friday we devoted to resume development and interview skills workshops. This is the same format for the first week of each new group of participants, and it was amazing for me to see the change in these people throughout the week. At the beginning of the week they all came in with their heads low and seemingly without any idea of who they were and what they wanted to do, but by Friday afternoon the majority of them were excited about what they had to offer and nervously excited about going to their first real job interviews. After they go through the first week, they have access to all the materials and assistance CFL offers, and they are heavily encouraged to attend job search workshops every Monday and Wednesday mornings from 9-11am.

I have put up some photos from the last week here. The first one is of "The Sphere," which was a piece that was out in front of the World Trade Center, and which was made to signify world peace. It somehow survived, although clearly not undamaged, the 9/11 attacks and is now in Battery Park in honor of the victims and heros of that day. The next was taken just a few steps away from there, and I just love how it looks like the Statue of Liberty is staring down the moon. The next one I really like and it shows Midtown Manhattan rising up over the Great Lawn of Central Park. Finally, there is a photo of myself and two of my friends, Laura and Adam (I'll leave it to you to assign the names without further explanation from me), from college who both live out here now. I will include photos of myself and the office, and the employees and clients of CFL once we all get more comfortable with each other. Undoubtedly I have another exciting, enlightening week that has just begun.